Hypomania
by Rob Colgate
I feel like remembering something
and by that I mean everything
I have ever done.
How could I have known
that I would continue to do
many things after I had already
done many things?
Let me expand my meaningless catalogue.
Nothing is outside of total wonder.
I am so excited to be cold. To notice light
and sit on a blanket. To wear my aunt’s jacket
and have my eyes roll back into my head.
Six days a week I say, I'm not lonely, I’m incredible.
On the seventh day I say, Haha I’d be down for you to come over for a bit.
I want more familiar images
and penises. Everything is urgent.
Move to Austin with me, quickly.
Take this picture. Take this condom
into your hands and unravel it like an answer.
Take me for coffee in the morning
and wave back at our little reflections in the window.
Of course you should take this lightly.
I want everything. I want an everything bagel.
I want the hot barista to finally just ask for my number.
I really want to figure out my intimacy issues
with you, actually. I think we could do it.
Imagine if we loved each other
and also loved other things. A blackberry.
The curve in the road. The sensation of waking.
Imagine if we walked out of the house well-rested.
We won’t. All night we stay up lying.
I'm dying to keep talking to you
about that one Brooks poem.
My phone is dying so this has to be quick:
I love you and I think we should try redoing everything that we have ever done.
and by that I mean everything
I have ever done.
How could I have known
that I would continue to do
many things after I had already
done many things?
Let me expand my meaningless catalogue.
Nothing is outside of total wonder.
I am so excited to be cold. To notice light
and sit on a blanket. To wear my aunt’s jacket
and have my eyes roll back into my head.
Six days a week I say, I'm not lonely, I’m incredible.
On the seventh day I say, Haha I’d be down for you to come over for a bit.
I want more familiar images
and penises. Everything is urgent.
Move to Austin with me, quickly.
Take this picture. Take this condom
into your hands and unravel it like an answer.
Take me for coffee in the morning
and wave back at our little reflections in the window.
Of course you should take this lightly.
I want everything. I want an everything bagel.
I want the hot barista to finally just ask for my number.
I really want to figure out my intimacy issues
with you, actually. I think we could do it.
Imagine if we loved each other
and also loved other things. A blackberry.
The curve in the road. The sensation of waking.
Imagine if we walked out of the house well-rested.
We won’t. All night we stay up lying.
I'm dying to keep talking to you
about that one Brooks poem.
My phone is dying so this has to be quick:
I love you and I think we should try redoing everything that we have ever done.
Rob Colgate is a Filipino-American poet from Evanston, IL. He holds a degree in psychology from Yale University and is currently pursuing his MFA in poetry with the New Writers Project at UT Austin, where he is also working towards a certificate in critical disability studies. A Pushcart nominee, in Austin he teaches workshops in both creative writing and emotional intelligence. His work is featured in Best New Poets 2020; his first chapbook, So Dark the Gap, was published by Tammy in March 2020 and won the ReadsRainbow Prize for poetry. You can find him at robcolgate.com.