dissociative state
by Penda Mbaye Z. Smith
no does not hear you
no needs to prove that he is a man
no meant no harm, no thought
you were playing hard to get–
yes is a fractured window
you reluctantly open: a river
comes from you
you did not ask for it
the way one does not ask for it
and yet you are wet
water is complicated
it is both a song and the memory
of being taken shakes you
the body must protect you
even if you are not there to decide, you chant:
no yes no yes no yes
no yes no yes no yes
no yes no yes you make no
sound you have no mouth no language
no origin no country no race no
culture no gender no sexuality
one day you will tell your father
Penda Mbaye Z. Smith is a Senegalese American writer, educator, and scholar whose work explores the role of pleasure in the search of and movement toward Black liberation. She has received support from the Watering Hole, Sun Valley Writers Conference, and Cave Canem fellowship. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Interim Poetics, Root Work Journal, and more. She teaches English at Louisiana State University. She enjoys napping.