When Your Vice Is a Man
by Nabila Lovelace
A black & mild alone is my daddy leaving. The bud
of plastic recedes when it’s still burning. The nub is ash.
Ashiness means I lack
coconut oil: virgin only—
contend with the politics of that. Now complicate:
my father thinks he’s my father. I’m saying
ownership. I’m saying
my last name is leash-like. Now complicate: I wanted
the boy to leash me. A bitch. & here
I call him my first father
daddy.
I don’t answer the phone for either. Call me a sickness.
Me & ___________, old enough to father me, fuck
in a federal building.
I know how
to desecrate.
I’m scared. Complicate
used language: up in flames
goes a building
full of my fathers.
of plastic recedes when it’s still burning. The nub is ash.
Ashiness means I lack
coconut oil: virgin only—
contend with the politics of that. Now complicate:
my father thinks he’s my father. I’m saying
ownership. I’m saying
my last name is leash-like. Now complicate: I wanted
the boy to leash me. A bitch. & here
I call him my first father
daddy.
I don’t answer the phone for either. Call me a sickness.
Me & ___________, old enough to father me, fuck
in a federal building.
I know how
to desecrate.
I’m scared. Complicate
used language: up in flames
goes a building
full of my fathers.
Nabila Lovelace is a first-generation Queens native, her people hail from Trinidad & Nigeria. Sons of Achilles, her debut book of poems, is forthcoming from YesYes Books. You can currently find her kicking it in Tuscaloosa.