Cinnamon and Sand

You have woken up
on a sliver of his king-sized bed
every morning for a year.

In the first hour of open eyes,
you let him make love
to you—five times.

You are thinking
of adding vanilla extract
to his pancake batter,

of arranging blueberries on his plate
in the shape of your names.
Of the places outside his big city window

he has not yet paraded you through.  
There are still barstools in this borough
that don’t know you’re his girl.

Afterwards, you point to the shower,
the doorknob, to last night’s stripped-off clothing
waiting for your body to fill it— 

the day that darkens so fast.

When you inch out of bed
he asks Where do you think
you’re going?

The story does not change.

He has never, and will
not now snatch your wrist.
Will not pin, force.

Will not smack
a chorus of yeses from you—  
you are a girl.

You have learned
to bargain
with laughter before.

But this morning your giggle
is a foreign currency.
A kicked-in fence.

You explain the wound
between your legs. How the well has dried up.
Feels like thick cotton rags folded inside you.

The story does not change.

He does not grab you
by the braids. There is no hand
wrapped around your mouth like duct tape.

There never was and there won’t be now.

Instead, he charms the guilt from your hips.
Says you are a feast and he, The Famine.
How selfish it would be to hoard such fruit.

You explain a second time: fat cotton rags
folded inside. Dry as licking cinnamon and sand.
Wound, you say. A small rip.

He does not claw
open your dress. Rather, he says
If our appetites don’t align,

we probably will not work.

You whimper, beg, say Five times
already this morning, Baby. Pain. Rip.
Cinnamon and sand. He says

Probably will not work.

Doesn’t lift a finger,
but smirks as you throw yourself down.
Pin your own shoulder back.

Split your favorite dress
on purpose.
As you rip

---

Megan Falley's first full-length collection of poetry, After the Witch Hunt, was published by Write Bloody in 2012. Her work has also been published in PANK, Vinyl, decomP, >kill author, The Legendary, The Literary Bohemian, Danse Macabre and more. She is an active slammer and is currently on the 2012 LouderArts Slam Team.