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What I like best about this photo of myself
by Lisa Summe


are the flowers in the background & the likes it gets. 
I'm listening to a podcast in which 3 poets 
are discussing birthdays & one woman, 
 
reminiscing about her love for smoking cigs 
as a teen, says it's all about laws 
but I hear loss. There are days 
 
in which I cannot tell the difference
between the light coming in through the pink 
curtains & the actual sunrise. When two things 
 
seem the same sometimes they are. 
There is like & there is love 
& there is being horny, all
 
holding hands with each other. 
I am measuring my desire
in apology. Last night I said sorry
 
to the woman I've been wishy-washy with
all summer, told her I have made up
my mind about wanting you
 
& I want you. She said what changed? 
What is it called when you get off
the internet & become able to take care
 
of yourself, & it translates to giving
better care to others? 
Instagram clogged my brain like summer's
 
sunscreen clogs my pores. Wash it off
& reapply. Now that I am available
it is her turn to leave & she will leave me
 
more than I can tell you. I am prepared 
to get on the horse, keep riding 
this merry-go-round I built, 
 
through the fall, the winter, 
the whir of this machinery predictable, 
the horse's legs not even moving. 

Picture
​Lisa Summe is the author of Say It Hurts (YesYes Books, December 2020). She earned a BA and MA in literature at the University of Cincinnati and an MFA in poetry from Virginia Tech. Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in The Cincinnati Review, Salt Hill, Waxwing, Vinyl, and elsewhere. You can find her running, playing baseball, or eating vegan pastries in Pittsburgh, PA, on Twitter and Instagram @lisasumme, and at lisasumme.com.

More from Lisa Summe...
Spring 2020
ISSN 2157-8079
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