Johnny Hodges and Kalamata Olives
by Kaveh Akbar
I have made the decision to become more
tolerable, to squeeze the corset around
myself and the world that made me.
I draft emails to my mother, subject line
re: whiskey on a pacifier, subject line The Ineffable
Sadness. In every note, I sound less panicked
than I mean. O God, I am heartily sorry
for offending thee! My sins were effortless,
I detest them all, except the carnal ones—
the long nights of Johnny Hodges and Kalamata
olives, of bitten tongues and insincere pet names.
I will pay any price to keep those, O Lord. I will
spend eternity cubing your melons, changing
your holy bandages, and I will smile the whole time
like a great thief approaching the gallows,
tiny sliver of gold still sewn into my pocket.
tolerable, to squeeze the corset around
myself and the world that made me.
I draft emails to my mother, subject line
re: whiskey on a pacifier, subject line The Ineffable
Sadness. In every note, I sound less panicked
than I mean. O God, I am heartily sorry
for offending thee! My sins were effortless,
I detest them all, except the carnal ones—
the long nights of Johnny Hodges and Kalamata
olives, of bitten tongues and insincere pet names.
I will pay any price to keep those, O Lord. I will
spend eternity cubing your melons, changing
your holy bandages, and I will smile the whole time
like a great thief approaching the gallows,
tiny sliver of gold still sewn into my pocket.
Kaveh Akbar founded and edits Divedapper. His poems are forthcoming in Tin House, Poetry, FIELD, Georgia Review, and elsewhere. His debut full-length, Calling a Wolf a Wolf, is forthcoming with Alice James Books in early 2018, and a chapbook, Portrait of the Alcoholic, will be out with Sibling Rivalry Press in early 2017. Kaveh was born in Tehran, Iran, and currently lives in Florida.