& WHEN THEY COME FOR ME (REPRISE)
by Golden
If we were born bees never would we wonder
if we needed men tomorrow. Have you ever
thought about it? How purpose isn’t west or east. How God might be
another word for family in the south, our Black auntie’s only
synonym for free. In the north we say seahorses are trans,
and no one goes hunting for them in the ocean. LORD,
my Grannie cries out, every time a bee sees her front porch.
I used to be afraid of needles too, but now I’m more afraid to die
by loneliness & meat. Summer, this is the first year I haven’t migrated since 17,
& still I have tree branches tucked in my throat. I can make a new house
while everyone sleeps, I think. I’m a bad bad birdie. Zzzzzz zzzz. I’m a buzz,
light years away from language & a land name. I’m scared to say it--
Holding you makes me feel infinite, impossible
to gut or gorge. I hope there is a dimension where I believe in
standing still with someone’s sin and glory. When I die
give my brain to the bottom of a hand-dug flower bed
where the dogwood tree splits the pink until I am a root & stem again.
Father-sun, I want to be somewhere singing through the wooden door
of my name-made house, with a maiden name. Ask my mother,
we’re going on vacation to other worlds within ourselves. I hope you can run.
Oh look, the sun’s coming out, Grannie. Bees, the chainsaw is still
in the shed. Can I carry you to safety? Holding someone makes me
feel innocent. Lover, where’s direction? Where’s the sin? I made it home.
Note: & WHEN THEY COME FOR ME (REPRISE)'s title is from a line in Safia Elhillo's poem, self-portrait with yellow dress
if we needed men tomorrow. Have you ever
thought about it? How purpose isn’t west or east. How God might be
another word for family in the south, our Black auntie’s only
synonym for free. In the north we say seahorses are trans,
and no one goes hunting for them in the ocean. LORD,
my Grannie cries out, every time a bee sees her front porch.
I used to be afraid of needles too, but now I’m more afraid to die
by loneliness & meat. Summer, this is the first year I haven’t migrated since 17,
& still I have tree branches tucked in my throat. I can make a new house
while everyone sleeps, I think. I’m a bad bad birdie. Zzzzzz zzzz. I’m a buzz,
light years away from language & a land name. I’m scared to say it--
Holding you makes me feel infinite, impossible
to gut or gorge. I hope there is a dimension where I believe in
standing still with someone’s sin and glory. When I die
give my brain to the bottom of a hand-dug flower bed
where the dogwood tree splits the pink until I am a root & stem again.
Father-sun, I want to be somewhere singing through the wooden door
of my name-made house, with a maiden name. Ask my mother,
we’re going on vacation to other worlds within ourselves. I hope you can run.
Oh look, the sun’s coming out, Grannie. Bees, the chainsaw is still
in the shed. Can I carry you to safety? Holding someone makes me
feel innocent. Lover, where’s direction? Where’s the sin? I made it home.
Note: & WHEN THEY COME FOR ME (REPRISE)'s title is from a line in Safia Elhillo's poem, self-portrait with yellow dress
GOLDEN (they/them) is a black gender-nonconforming trans-femme photographer, poet, & community organizer raised in Hampton, VA (Kikotan land), currently residing in Boston, MA (Massachusett people land).
Golden is the recipient of a Pink Door Fellowship (2017/2019), an Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum Luminaries Fellowship (2019), the Frontier Award for New Poets (2019), a Best of the Net Award (2020), a Pushcart Prize nomination (wildness, 2019 & Glass Poetry, 2020), a City of Boston Artist-in-Residence (2020-2021), a Mass Cultural Council Fellowship in Photography (2021), & a Women Photograph Project Grant (2021).
Their work has been featured on/at Shade Literary Arts, the Offing, Button Poetry, Vogue, Buzzfeed, i-D, Interview Magazine, the Boston Globe, & elsewhere. Golden holds a BFA in Photography from New York University (2018).
Golden is the recipient of a Pink Door Fellowship (2017/2019), an Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum Luminaries Fellowship (2019), the Frontier Award for New Poets (2019), a Best of the Net Award (2020), a Pushcart Prize nomination (wildness, 2019 & Glass Poetry, 2020), a City of Boston Artist-in-Residence (2020-2021), a Mass Cultural Council Fellowship in Photography (2021), & a Women Photograph Project Grant (2021).
Their work has been featured on/at Shade Literary Arts, the Offing, Button Poetry, Vogue, Buzzfeed, i-D, Interview Magazine, the Boston Globe, & elsewhere. Golden holds a BFA in Photography from New York University (2018).