Self-Portrait in the Weeks After
by Eric Tran
When DA called, I curled up
like a hand over the receiver.
Went wet like a worn wheel
rolling slow through a puddle
despite running late. A flame
burned for light in a blackout
but still cradled at the wick.
Held like that it only fights
the dark enough to reveal
your own face. Tender
as the bruise above my lip.
I kissed my beloved sideways
until the blood left me alone.
Now a man I’ve never met
without the room spinning
asks how long I want my assailant
locked away. A sentence, how
did we arrive there? In a poem
I put a sentence to work
by breaking it again and again.
But in life, if there’s one
outside poetry, I wince
when snapping a tongue
depressor. I’ve pressed charges
and I once tried to learn pressing
leaves but they rained into rot.
Now what do I do with all
the flowers I’ve stopped cutting?
My beloved says we can leave them
to wilt and seed. That’s what they want,
he maybe says. I worry for them
like that will keep the frost away.
What do I want? To wake
like the morning sun. I can be
shadow the rest of the day.
Eric Tran is a queer Vietnamese poet and the author of Mouth, Sugar, and Smoke (Diode Editions, forthcoming 2022) and The Gutter Spread Guide to Prayer (Autumn House Press). He serves as poetry editor for Orison Press and a poetry reader for the Los Angeles Review. He has received awards and recognition from Prairie Schooner, New Delta Review, Best of the Net, and others. His work appears in RHINO, 32 Poems, the Missouri Review and elsewhere. He is a resident physician in psychiatry in Asheville, NC.