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ALTERNATE UNIVERSE IN WHICH I AM THE MOTHER
by Crystal Valentine

 
I spot it            in the lineup     of other soft faces
halo irises         brown   mud  black             I enter              a nursery
of sorts                             the stork          banished to shadow                 mothers
who are not                    gather to claim             their prize        one leaves quick      
                             precious yolk                              easing into her palm
another so barren                    baby names dissolve    
between her                 teeth                arms a firm bend                  permanent rock
a          bye                     her shrill                          of a purse a gentle replacement                     
                             bald headed babes                    whimper                                 
            into dream                   the ceilings have been painted              a violent blue
 
 
     
                             there is nothing wrong                         with me           I bleed once 
            every 28 days               I bathe             until translucent            
the application states            successful candidates               keep a clean house                    
I inscribe                        the spiked black lines with my maiden name 
the one I want                         has already began                     teething                         
                                                    I am called
behind a glass curtain           the lady in white          asks if I’ve answered
all the questions            do I know how           to smooth white powder                                 
into paste?                                                                         where is my partner?
                       is   ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶s̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶he on board?                did     ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶s̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶he read            
                                         the daddy companion pamphlet?
              in the time before my time                 they burned down the abattoirs
                       ​but       kept the wombs
 
 
 
I had that dream          again                 
                                                                    pink walls        pink crib           
                         baby’s teeth     swung              and clank                     like wind chimes
against themselves                 gums rain red              the milk 
                pink too            
 
             
​
            the lady in white shows me a picture                of a woman soothing
a pink faced child                        can you do this?                        the application requires
I update                       my past                                   I have a simple history:
            nothing that wails in my hands                  has a pulse

Crystal Valentine is a Black, queer woman from the Bronx. She is a Callaloo fellow, a former NYC Youth Poet Laureate, and a two-time winner of the College Union Poetry Slam Invitational. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in the Academy of American Poets Poem-a-Day, BreakBeat Poets Vol. 2: Black Girl Magic Anthology (Haymarket Books),TriQuarterly Magazine, Winter Tangerine and elsewhere. She received an MFA from New York University and is the current festival manager for the Massachusetts Poetry Festival.
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